How I’m Journaling in 2021

Last week, I read and listened to a lot of reporting about the siege at the Capitol, the Presidential transition, and updates on COVID-19. I went way too deep into the news. I also received sad news on Monday. My mom's dog, Henry, died.

Henry was a crazy dog, and I loved him. I took hundreds of My Morning View photos with Henry in the frame. Henry was easy to photograph because he was very food motivated. He’d do almost anything for a treat. Currently, I’m gathering my photos of Henry for my mom. Henry was a beautiful dog, and he will be missed deeply.

Amid all this, I’ve been journaling. I’ve been an avid journaler for a few decades because the practice helps me process my feelings, synthesize ideas, and keep track of my life. I can’t imagine my day-to-day routine without a plethora of pens and notebooks.

Since readers have inquired about my journaling process, I thought it would be fun to share a round-up of my 2021 journal collection. I hope the round-up below inspires you to keep writing!

Logbook of Delights 

Last year, I read The Book of Delights by Ross Gay and his essays delighted me. Gay's book is on my "read it again list" because it's so inspiring. It's no secret that 2020 was a rough year, and based on last week's political violence, it looks like 2021 is going to be challenging. No matter what happens, I'll be cultivating delight in my daily life.

This year, I'm keeping a small logbook where I record daily delights that I experience. We're only a few weeks into 2021, and I could list dozens of delights that I've enjoyed. Here are a few favorites: eating doughnuts with blue and white sprinkles on top, taking photos of said doughnuts, going on long walks with Logan, snuggling with Christie the cat, going to bed at 8 p.m., and more.

Taking note of delight doesn't mean that I'm blind to the horrors of the pandemic, political violence, and more. Instead, noticing and recording daily delights has given me optimism, joy, and faith that things will get better.

Commonplace Book

This year, I decided to create and maintain a commonplace book. I needed a system to keep track of quotes, along with the books, articles, and podcasts that inspire me.

In A Brief Guide to Keeping a Commonplace Book Ash said, “The commonplace books differs from bullet journals in that it is devoted to knowledge-making, and not necessarily planning out one’s life ... It's an excellent tool for readers, helping memorialize words, phrases, quotes, passages, and images.”

I also liked Mary Karr’s description of commonplace notebooks. Recently, Karr was on Tim Ferriss' podcast and she said, “... mostly what I write down are pieces of language or things, poems that I read, paragraphs, anything, so that you’re just constantly copying in longhand. You can’t type it. You’re constantly copying things that are beautiful. You’re constantly guzzling beauty, you’re guzzling the beautiful language. So that you’re kind of steeped in it like a fruitcake in good brandy.”

Writing down quotes, facts, and more in my commonplace notebook has boosted my reading retention. Plus, “guzzling beauty” is something delightful to do.

The Planner/Dairy

Last year, I ordered a large 18-month daily planner from Moleskine by mistake. I'm actually glad I made the mistake because the large planner is a great tool to organize my days, track tasks, and process my feelings.

Feel free to steal the ideas I mentioned above for your journaling practice. If you're new to journaling or need a refresher, check out my e-books—Write to Flourish: A Beginner’s Guide to Journaling or Everyday Adventures: Tiny Quests to Spark Your Creative Life.

With gratitude,

Tammy

Notes on Incessant Thinking

Overall, my mental health has been good throughout the COVID crisis. Not last week, though. I got caught in a spiral of incessant thinking. The news about the fires—and the thick smoke—in Northern California pushed me into a state of despair.

One of my coping strategies during COVID times includes spending time outside. I love sitting on my front porch and taking nature walks. Not being able to go outside because of terrible air quality made me want to burst into tears.

Also, this is the fourth year California has experienced catastrophic fires, and it's only been a few years since Paradise—a neighboring community—was destroyed by fire. In short, fires scare me. They also make me wonder if I'm cut out for life in the golden state.

To get out of my negative thinking loop, I turned to teachers. First, I started reading Mo Gawdat's book—Solve for Happy. I’m about halfway through the book, and so far it's a good read. Gawdat writes about happiness, suffering, human blind spots, and more.

I found Gawdat's description of incessant thinking particularly helpful. Here's what he wrote:

“All the thinking in the world, until converted into action, has no impact on the reality of our lives. It does not change the events in anyway. The only impact it has is inside us, in the form of needless suffering and sadness. Anticipating awful things in the future or ruminating about awful moments from the past is not the useful, instructive, and unavoidable experience of everyday pain. The prolonged extension of pain is a serious bug in our system because: Suffering offers no benefit whatsoever. None."

This idea reminded me that self-induced suffering is optional, and the only things I can control are my actions and attitude.

I also revisited Byron Katie's writing and questions. Katie invites readers to do the following:

"Isolate one thought. Ask the four questions. Allow the genuine answers to arise."

Below are Katie's questions:

Q1. Is it true?

Q2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

Q3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

Q4. Who would you be without that thought?

When I started working with these questions a few years ago, I wasn't sure if they would be helpful. Over the past year, I've applied these questions to various thoughts, and they've been incredibly useful.

Turning to teachers, like Katie and Gawdat, helped me drop my negative-thought loops. The pandemic isn't going away, and neither is the smoke. That's my current reality. I don't want to spend the next month, or longer, fighting reality and ruminating. I’d rather cultivate more joy in my daily life. That's not to say that I won't experience emotional lows in the future. After all, I'm not a robot.

Finally, Mary Pipher reminded me that it’s okay to feel all the feelings. Pipher is a clinical psychologist who specializes in women, trauma, and the effects of culture on mental health. I'm in the middle of her new book, and it's good!

I’ll leave you with a few ideas from Pipher’s book—Women Rowing North: Navigating Life’s Currents & Flourishing as We Age.

Pipher said, “I don’t recommend controlling our emotions, but rather listening to them. They are delivering information that is vital to our recovery. We want to fully experience our emotions in both our hearts and bodies. If we do this, we will gradually move toward healing and hope.”

Pipher goes on to talk about how despair “allows us to deeply appreciate our lives and savor our time.” In short, despair can facilitate growth. She said, “There is an ancient and almost universal cycle that involves trauma, despair, struggle, adaptation, and resolution. This is a deepening cycle that prepares us for whatever comes next. It opens our hearts to others and helps us feel grateful for every small pleasure.”

If you're struggling with negative thought loops or anxiety, I hope the books and ideas I shared above offer solace and support.

With gratitude,

Tammy

Adventures with Elaina

When I attended the Creative Writing Workshop at the Paris American Academy a few years ago, I learned about the craft of writing. One of our teachers—Rolf Potts—offered lots of practical writing advice that stuck with me. His thoughts on travel writing, journaling, and memoir have been particularly helpful. Regarding memoir Potts said, “Memoir isn’t non-fiction. It is fiction because it isn’t reported journalism.”

I agree with Rolf because my memory is terrible. That’s why I’m obsessed with journaling and recording my days in my logbook. Journaling about my daily life is important because it gives me a sense of what’s happened in a typical week, a month, and over the course of the year. When I revisit my old journal entries, I'm able to coalesce themes and collect story ideas. Then I use the ideas for non-fiction articles, micro-memoirs, memoir style essays, and books.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about how our cat Elaina came into our lives. I couldn’t remember all the details, and since my old journals are long gone, I couldn't use them as a source. Instead, I asked my husband, Logan, about his kitty adoption memories.

Here's a portion of the conversation we had last weekend:

“Did I lobby you for another cat after we got Christie?” I asked.

“Ohh yeah,” Logan said.

“Really?” I said.

“You lobbied for a cat before Christie, and you lobbied for another cat after we adopted Christie. And I thought it was going to continue on until we had a house full of cats,” Logan said.

I laughed because my memories of these shenanigans are fuzzy. Apparently, I really wanted a second cat. I was in luck because another kitten was about to come into our lives.

Stacy—a veterinarian student and our neighbor—found a litter of kittens in a cardboard box on the side of the road. She took the kittens home, made sure that their health was stable, and decided to foster them. And of course, I went to visit the kittens!

I fell in love with a small kitten named Alien. Stacy named the kitten Alien because her eyes were giant, and she looked like a cartoon cat. Alien was so wee that her body fit in the palm of my hand. She was all eyes, and she was snugly and sweet. Naturally, I told Logan about Alien when he got home from work.

After I brought Christie home, I promised Logan that I would not adopt another cat without him. We’d make the decision together. I convinced Logan to visit Stacy’s foster kittens. When we walked to her apartment, I lobbied hard to adopt Alien because "poor lonely Christie needed a friend."

Logan said, “I remember when we went over to Stacy’s apartment. Kittens were running around everywhere. They were climbing up the drapes, and another two were racing along the backside of the couch like little maniacs. I couldn't keep track of all the fuzzy little bodies. Alien walked over to you for a pet, and then she decided to come visit me. She subsequently fell asleep on my chest.”

“And then, you looked at me and nodded. I knew that we were going to take Alien home. You are such a sucker. I love you for that!” I said.

***

Alien was quickly renamed Elaina. I don’t know where the name Elaina came from, but it suited our new buddy.

Elaina explored our home in under one hour. She was a tiny detective. It took Christie weeks to feel safe enough to explore the bedrooms, kitchen, living room, closets, and bathroom. Christie was a skittish little kitten, not Elaina though.

Elaina exuded confidence, despite her wee size. She was so tiny that we made a special collar for her. Part of the collar retrofit included adding a bell. I almost stepped on Elaina a few times and was terrified that she’d get hurt. The bell was perfect because when Elaina wasn’t sleeping, we could hear her moving around the apartment.

Eventually, Elaina outgrew her small collar. Tiny—as we liked to call her—was anything but tiny. She was double the size of Christie the Cat. Elaina would beg for ice cream, treats, and eat all her kibble in one sitting. At one-point Elaina was so chubby, she couldn't clean her backside. That's a serious problem for a cat, and subsequently she went on a diet with timed feedings. I felt like a terrible cat parent! I shouldn’t have been giving Elaina so many treats. Plus, our veterinary told us not to free feed our cats, and we followed her advice. Thankfully, she slimmed down quickly.

Elaina loved living with us in rural Siskiyou County. She stalked lizards and mice, rolled in the dirt, flirted with fawns, befriended the neighbor dog, got stuck in trees, and followed up her activities by bringing dust into the house. We couldn’t resist her personality and snuggles. Elaina was a loving companion and adapted to all the different living situations we had over the years. Alas, Elaina and Christie were not best friends, like I hoped, but they tolerated one another well.

Elaina was diagnosed with cancer on January 26, 2018, and she died on October 25, 2018. Elaina’s death was hard to accept. But I’m thankful we had a long goodbye. We miss her snuggles, her meows, her big beautiful eyes, and her courageous nature.

Over the years, I took thousands of photos of Elaina. She would stare at the camera and pose for me. I'm grateful for the shots because they bring back good memories. Plus, the photos help me recall stories that I would have forgotten. My stories about Elaina might be slightly fictionalized, and that’s okay. Memoir isn’t non-fiction. But I don't need to write a journalistic article to show how much joy Elaina brought into our lives.

PS: Browse my favorites shots of Elaina the “tiny” cat here.

With gratitude,

Tammy