Last night, I had a dream that we moved back to Portland because we couldn’t find a place to park our little house in Chico. The dream was indicative of how I’ve been feeling over the last few weeks. I don’t want to move back to Portland, but I’ve been worried about finding a spot for our little house in Chico. And my tendency to worry, makes me feel crazy; crazy for simplifying my life, for not owning a car, and for living in such a tiny house. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that we simplified because it’s helped us create a resilient life. However, crafting a resilient life can be challenging.
This weekend, we are heading to Chico to celebrate my brother in-law’s birthday and to look at a few spots to park the tiny house. And I have to admit, I’m worried. I’m worried we won’t find a landowner that’s willing to rent to us because our tiny house falls in a legal grey area; meaning it isn’t legal or illegal to park our house in the City of Chico. At least, that’s the way I understood the code. I could be wrong.
On the ranch, we don’t have to worry about codes or what the neighbors will think of us. We are safe and secure. Part of me feels like we should buy a car, stay on the ranch and start planning a garden for the summer. On the other hand, I know we need to make a move because Logan can’t find work in this area and I feel lonely. Buying a car would mitigate these challenges, but we can’t afford a car and I don’t want to be sucked into a debt trap again.
Luckily, our little house gives us freedom; freedom from debt and too much stuff. However, the tiny house has constraints. Finding a spot to put the house has been difficult and I’m starting to feel disheartened. Last night, I was telling Logan that conforming to a socially acceptable “normal living situation” seems easier. Logically, I know that’s a fallacy. Nothing is easy and sometimes that reality is frustrating.
When I start feeling frustrated and a little crazy, I turn to my gratitude practice. It’s the only way I can center myself. And it helps me remember that I’m incredibly fortunate.
What do you do when you feel frustrated? Share your thoughts in the comments section.
For the full backstory about our moving plans, read: