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Sometimes I feel crazy.

Last night, I had a dream that we moved back to Portland because we couldn’t find a place to park our little house in Chico. The dream was indicative of how I’ve been feeling over the last few weeks. I don’t want to move back to Portland, but I’ve been worried about finding a spot for our little house in Chico. And my tendency to worry, makes me feel crazy; crazy for simplifying my life, for not owning a car, and for living in such a tiny house. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that we simplified because it’s helped us create a resilient life. However, crafting a resilient life can be challenging.

This weekend, we are heading to Chico to celebrate my brother in-law’s birthday and to look at a few spots to park the tiny house. And I have to admit, I’m worried. I’m worried we won’t find a landowner that’s willing to rent to us because our tiny house falls in a legal grey area; meaning it isn’t legal or illegal to park our house in the City of Chico. At least, that’s the way I understood the code. I could be wrong.

On the ranch, we don’t have to worry about codes or what the neighbors will think of us. We are safe and secure. Part of me feels like we should buy a car, stay on the ranch and start planning a garden for the summer. On the other hand, I know we need to make a move because Logan can’t find work in this area and I feel lonely. Buying a car would mitigate these challenges, but we can’t afford a car and I don’t want to be sucked into a debt trap again.

Luckily, our little house gives us freedom; freedom from debt and too much stuff. However, the tiny house has constraints. Finding a spot to put the house has been difficult and I’m starting to feel disheartened. Last night, I was telling Logan that conforming to a socially acceptable “normal living situation” seems easier. Logically, I know that’s a fallacy. Nothing is easy and sometimes that reality is frustrating.

When I start feeling frustrated and a little crazy, I turn to my gratitude practice. It’s the only way I can center myself. And it helps me remember that I’m incredibly fortunate.

What do you do when you feel frustrated? Share your thoughts in the comments section.

For the full backstory about our moving plans, read:

Be well,
Tammy

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Denise March 21, 2013, 10:09 am

    All we can ever do is what’s best for us in the time and place we are. We are lucky to have choices. I know this will all work out to your advantage. I’m in a similar spot as there are several options presenting themselves and I’m not sure how it’ll all play out. I’m trusting that when the time to make decisions comes the best choices for our family will present itself. In the meantime, I’m just throwing myself into each moment and trying to remember to breathe.

  • John J. Walters March 21, 2013, 10:09 am

    Just out of curiosity — and I don’t mean to pry into your finances, but why is it you say you can’t afford a car?

    I don’t mean to suggest that you absolutely should buy a car, but I think framing it differently would alleviate some of your stress. You don’t want to waste time and energy thinking about whether or not you can afford a car if you actually don’t want one. It just distracts from the issue and adds to your worries!

    Start at the root of the issue: Do you really want a car? Why or why not? How would buying one change your life, for better or worse? Will it get you closer or further from the life you want?

    Only if you decide that you actually want one should you even begin to worry about how to afford one. That’s a separate problem, and in my experience, any problem can be solved if you get creative (and your blog seems to indicate that you can do just that!).

    In my experience as a gear-head, people spend WAY too much on their cars–even if they don’t like driving. Folks buy the most expensive cars they can afford just to get them from point A to point B. And they almost all make payments on them. By contrast, most of my friends (also gear-heads, naturally) own their vehicles outright. We buy cheap cars and we work on them ourselves. It takes surprisingly little time and effort; the occassional Saturday here and there will suffice.

    By learning (a little) about what makes a car go, we save ourselves literally thousands of dollars each year in payments, maintenance, and insurance (it’s more expensive to insure a car you don’t own). I’m no certified mechanic, but I’ve found that printing off walk-throughs from internet forums is generally enough to get me through repair jobs that shops would charge me hundreds or even thousands to do. Buying parts online can save you about 90%.

    I borrow tools from friends and get help when I need it. Taking the time to solve problems ourselves is, ironically, part of what allows us to feel like we lead a rich life. None of us had money for presents this Christmas (and a few of us are on a minimalist path anyway), so we instead promised that we’d all make time for major repair jobs for each other throughout the year. We give the gift of time and work, growing closer in the process.

    My point is this: there are a thousand ways of getting cheap wheels for when you need them, and keeping them on the road. It’s not an insurmountable obstacle. I find that, generally, we’ve spent about $1,000 per year (not including gas) to keep a car on the road–and that includes purchase price averaged over the life of the car.

    But that–again–is not the main issue. The real thing you should be asking yourself is: Do I want this? Answering that can and will reduce your stress.

    And I think this applies to any issue. Don’t get bogged down in the details of all the possible tangents from every possible solution to a problem without first questioning yourself about what you want out of life.

    • Tammy Strobel March 21, 2013, 10:18 am

      John – Thank you for leaving such a thoughtful comment! I really appreciate it. 🙂

      Technically, we can afford a car. My main concern is that the car will suck me into a debt trap (it’s happened before). In addition, my income fluctuates every month, so thinking about having more bills makes me nervous. I think you are right, the question I need to be asking myself is: “Do I want this?”

      Thanks for your thoughts!

      Cheers,
      Tammy

      • John J. Walters March 21, 2013, 10:47 am

        You bring up an interesting issue: the fact that you have had money problems related to a car before. So basically, when you consider getting a car, your brain is associating the stress of before with the possibility of the future. In certain cases, this can be a useful mechanism that stops us from making bad choices again and again. In others, it can be a red herring (usually because your situation has changed).

        Either way, you’re right. Focus on what you want first. Then get creative and make it happen.

        I have this kind of conversation all the time with my girlfriend. Her upbringing was terribly unstable and negative, and consequently she has a very different way of approaching problems than I do. She doesn’t see the world as full of possibilities and opportunities like I do. She often assumes certain doors are closed without trying the handle. This leads her to think that her desires are irrelevant, which makes solving problems much harder and more stressful.

        Assume strength. Assume possibility. If you find that you’re wrong, just move onto the next path.

        • Leah March 21, 2013, 3:09 pm

          Reading your comments, John, have certainly made me think about how I approach situations and possibilities. Assuming the door is closed without trying the handle…that’s me. Wow. I cannot tell you what reading that sentence did in my brain. It was like something clicked that I’ve never thought of before. Thank you so much for sharing your comments. I think you might have just changed my life a bit.

    • Scott March 22, 2013, 8:58 am

      I agree with, John. My son just bought a wonderful car for just a little over $3000.00. It is a 1999 in excellent shape with only 73,000 miles on it! An older couple owned the car and maintained it extremely well. Recently they decided to go to one car due to some health issues. This car will last him for years to come, he was able to pay cash and any necessary maintenance will still be less expensive than a car payment. I still drive a 1999 Toyota Camry and just keep fixing it. I put anywhere from $500 to $1500 a year into the car to keep it running (actually at the moment it has virtually nothing wrong with it and should give me at least another 75,000 miles). My friends think this is crazy. But I say, “do the math!” Try buying a car for that amount. And even newer cars that most people buy with debt still need maintenance.

  • Kimberly March 21, 2013, 10:15 am

    First of all, I think you guys are awesome:) as is anyone who doesn’t conform (it’s hard work!)…in your book you helped me feel the possibilities and freedom of life by reducing the stuff you place in it. Sometimes I feel crazy because I have spent the last 2 years building (literally) a business and motivating myself and those around me to accomplish my dream only to find it is no longer a dream that reflects my values. So I meditate and visualise my future as feeling happy and secure without any specific goals. Thank you for sharing:)

    take care

  • Leah March 21, 2013, 10:16 am

    I really appreciate your authenticity, Tammy. I’ve been dealing with a lot of frustration of the interpersonal variety. Thankfully, my husband and I are extending our fence which means that the old fence needs to be pried apart and taken down. The physical exertion required to pry the fence boards off the posts has been a balm, soothing my frenetic thoughts. If I didn’t have the fence project, I would just be outside digging holes because physical activity is the best way for me to calm my mind down when I feel like things are going crazy up there.

  • Jennie Walker Knoot March 21, 2013, 10:32 am

    Tammy! Thank you for sharing your doubts/concerns. Sharing the realistic picture that isn’t always rosy is so important to maintaining sanity, I think!

    I really hope you find a place for your little home in Chico. You are truly such an inspiration to me as I seek to downsize my own lifestyle.

  • Michelle Martin March 21, 2013, 10:36 am

    Throughout my challenges over the past 15 months, there’s been one thought that has kept coming into my head — “Everything has already been perfectly planned.” Maybe it was God or the Universe speaking to me or maybe it was just my inner voice (and maybe those 3 are all the same, but now I’m getting too deep!) My point is that it helped me to worry less and to TRUST that things would all work out somehow… when the time was right.

    I just know that this will be true for you and Logan!

  • hopephilosophy March 21, 2013, 10:41 am

    I was just musing about this yesterday– the whirlwind of life! I love your idea of the gratitude practice to find center. For me, it helps to physically stop whatever I’m doing and just breathe.

  • Brandi Jimenez March 21, 2013, 10:50 am

    Hi Tammy,

    Yikes, I hear ya. What helps me soooo much when I feel the need to stress—usually those are the things that I cannot control–which causes me to stress— Is CREATIVE VISUALIZATION. I swear it works wonders and makes a difference in every aspect of one’s life.

    I believe that everything in this life is purposeful. Therefore I was in Safford AZ and went to an antique store where I felt drawn to a lil corner of the shop and my eyes only focused on this one book even though I couldn’t see the entire book—This book was sooooo me!

    It’s called Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain –which is harnessing the power of your imagination to create what you want in life. aka what you think is what you create…

    Being that you are an “artistic/creative/sensitve soul” this should be an awesome fit–I feel.

    Plus too boot this author has been on Oprah (which was just something I discovered only after I bought the book) for a mere $3.oo purchase —a book that I will NEVER get rid of!!

    I know this method will help anyone, best wishes!

    PS if you ever decide that you guys need to purchase a car I have some AWESOME tips of how to not get in over your head in debt, getting the right fit, and not feeling the burden of debt that it can take… plus getting the best bang for your buck…

  • Ramona March 21, 2013, 10:55 am

    Hi Tammy,

    I completely understand how you are feeling. However, I think you should try to relax and be patient. (Unless there is some reason that you have to move ASAP) Because I have no doubt that you will find a place in Chico to park your Tiny House. It has only been a month or two that you have been looking. Don’t worry, you will find a place you and Logan both love to park your house. Try to relax and enjoy the time you have left on the ranch, feeling confident that you will be on the move very soon. Don’t compromise your values just yet. 🙂

    Hang in there! It will work out!
    Ramona

  • Caitlin March 21, 2013, 11:21 am

    I really appreciate you sharing the issues associated with your search, and also showing that things are not necessarily perfect after simplifying. I find this really heartening. It’s always a journey. I am starting on the path to obtaining my own tiny house, and I am also struggling with where to put it.

    For me, it helps to think about the worst case scenarios sometimes. In this case, it sounds like you have some leads for where to park your house, so there is a good chance you’ll find someone who wants to rent to you. Since the code is grey, and tiny homes are neither illegal nor legal, then there is a good chance that the inspectors won’t know how to handle it and may choose to ignore it (if they are even aware of it). In the worst possible case though, if you are parked somewhere and the authorities tell you that’s not legal, you can move the house again. You could always move it back to the ranch as a last resort. No one will take your house away from you.

    At best, you will open up a dialogue about tiny houses and educate the inspectors and inhabitants of Chico about an entirely new option for housing. This movement is gaining lots of momentum (in part thanks to you!), and we will be heard.

    It just seems to me, from the reading and research I’ve been doing, that technically speaking tiny houses are never really “legal” (regardless of where they are parked), which seems very odd to me. Jay Shafer, from Tumbleweed Tiny Houses, refers to living in a tiny house as an act of civil disobedience. I know that can feel scary more than empowering at times, but I have faith that things will work out–for both of us.

  • Amanda Ruth March 21, 2013, 11:34 am

    Thanks for showing us the ups and downs Tammy. So often public figures only present the ups to the masses and that can leave us feeling as if we don’t measure up, as if perfection is somehow out there we just haven’t attained it yet. Being in a legal grey area is scary when you aren’t in a place like Portland that embraces the nonconformist. I also agree with John above. I don’t believe for a second that you’ll ever get sucked back into the debt trap, even if you did decide to buy a car!! Also, buying a car would NOT make you a bad person or compromise your values in my opinion. It would just mean that you decided to prioritize your values and things like living close to family won out. Go easy on yourself!

  • Cathy_H March 21, 2013, 11:59 am

    Thank you for not romanticizing all of this. For being real about the beauties and the challenges and not making it seem easy. You inspire me.

    You are out there living a new prototype for a sustainable life. If no one does it, then we won’t know what is possible. The rest of us need you to try and find where the successes and failures are, so you can report back. So that we can learn. So that more of us can have the courage to follow the paths you are exploring.

    Thank you Tammy and Logan for being the ones who are doing this. It is because of you and a handful of others that I got inspired to try The Scooter Experiment http://www.randomcathy.com/2012/06/scooter-experiment.html which has enabled us to shed a lot of debt. And while our house is functional for our life at this point and time, I have let go of an awful lot of stuff encouraged by your book.

    You are not crazy. You are just lonely and dealing with grief. And yes, you may need to get a vehicle to change that or a different job or a move to Chico, and that is okay. That’s the cool part about being a pioneer. You are building the bridge as you walk on it and sometimes, you just have to keep trying stuff until you figure out exactly what works.

    ((Hugs))

  • Sheila March 21, 2013, 12:17 pm

    You’re beautifully human and I love you for it. I know you know everything will work out in the way that it is meant to. Have fun searching for a place to call home.

  • Denise Aday March 21, 2013, 12:17 pm

    Tammy, I sent this and related posts to a friend who relocated to Chico within the past year and who is involved with the sustainability community there. Hopefully he will know something that could help. If so, I or he will follow up with you. Best of luck! Cheering for you from nearby Mariposa.

  • Sara March 21, 2013, 1:16 pm

    Thanks for your honesty, Tammy. I think those of us who live “outside the box” frequently confront doubts and it’s always heartening to hear no one has it easy all the time. Keep your chin up and know you’re living a truly authentic life, doubts and all.

  • becky March 21, 2013, 1:52 pm

    when i am faced with fears, frustrations, confusion, sadness, a lack of stability or faith and optimism…i write. writing always eventually leads to answers, resolutions or at least the balance to continue on one step at a time.

  • Laura N. March 21, 2013, 2:38 pm

    Like a few others, I also wanted to thank you for this post. It is very enlightening to actually hear (well, read) a tiny house dweller talk about some of the frustrations and worries they have. And you are so right — it does seem easier to conform to society; however, you are living proof that there is definitely another choice out there that we can all make to really live our lives. It just takes a little extra work. Can you imagine how much different the world could be if we all put in a little more work and effort instead of giving up and succumbing to what society pressures us to do? Whoa! (On a side note, my husband has been talking about purchasing another car and it has been freaking me out too — I do not want to put us in debt.)

  • Cynthia March 21, 2013, 3:08 pm

    I know how you feel, and like you told me, you have to follow your heart and your instinct. Change is always hard, but I’m sure you will find a way to make the move to Chico work and once you’re settled you’ll be so happy!

    It’s normal to have doubts and concerns, I think the key is to make your decision and then work at making the best out of that decision, otherwise you can’t focus and the doubts and second guessing will drive you crazy (I know, I did a lot of that in the last couple months!). My husband and I just made two big decisions (to move to a new apartment in a new neighbourhood, and for me to go back to school), now that we’ve committed to those decisions, we’re getting excited about making our plans, but when we were waffling between options, it was horribly stressful. There is no perfect decision or perfect living situation, but you can pick the one that feels right for you and then make the best of it and have fun!

    Speaking of which, that’s what I do when I feel frustrated or stressed, I go out of my way to have fun – watch a funny movie, read a funny book, watch silly videos online, look at funny photos and have a laugh with friends.

    Hugs!

  • Barbara Techel March 21, 2013, 5:07 pm

    Oh, Tammy your honesty and authenticity is so wonderful, and why I adore and follow your blog. Change, though wanted at times, can cause angst. I think part of it is we get comfortable. We know how things are working out– we don’t want to mess with that. And something I just recently learned is we can often feel vulnerable, but when we open ourselves to that vulnerability joy and good things can come from it. Just like everyone leaving you comments and reaching out and connecting to you. That alone is so priceless so you don’t feel so alone in your angst.
    You will figure it out. I just really have no doubt. Writing about it as you have done and opening yourself up to help is a beautiful step in moving forward.

    Barbara

  • Tammy Buth March 21, 2013, 5:23 pm

    I am in the same boat right now. We have just sold our house to get out of the mortgage trap and we bought a 35 foot 5th wheel. I am looking for a place to park it and right now I am staying on a friends land. She is more than happy to have us, because they love the extra rent I pay them. My problem is that I have more dogs than I probably should and people will judge that I keep them in a small space. I just don’t want to get caught and don’t like how close I am to the city. All my dogs are rescue dogs and they go everywhere with us. The RV will allow them to travel with us as well. We are constantly outside with them and I work from home, so they are never alone. I am looking for some farm land where I can just be and not have nosy people around who feel they can judge my lifestyle.

  • Kaylin Lydia March 21, 2013, 6:00 pm

    Stay the course! I think you are doing the right thing and it will all work out. I have learned about myself that when I feel fear or reservation about my actions it’s usually because I feel vulnerable and I struggle to sit with that feeling and not numb it, ignore it etc… My husband and I choose to live a simpler life in a rural area (although not as rural as where you two live) and sometimes I let the criticisms of negative people around me affect me. Maybe we should move back to our old city life in Philadelphia? But then I remember how I feel now versus then and I am so much happier today. And I also remember the time when it seemed like everyone I knew was buying a house and they all told us “we must buy a house”. We didn’t buy a house because it wasn’t right for us and now, years later, they all say how we made such a good decision. I always try to remember that and not forget to always listen to my voice over others.

  • James March 21, 2013, 6:17 pm

    Keep your head up! Part of progress is change and if it’s change that has you uneasy, then you know you’re headed in the right direction because the only other direction is backwards. The decision to live minimally is a conscious one on your part and has effects that ripple out to thousands. When you choose to evolve, everyone around you evolves too. Eventually finding places to put tiny homes will be easier because of the people like yourselves who drew attention to it by doing it and showing the lunacy of the system.

    I’m rooting for yah. Keep going!

  • Bastian March 22, 2013, 1:37 am

    I don’t think you have to worry that much. Sure you’ll have to find a spot and if you won’t find a spot you have a really big problem. But, as far as I can say, things will surely work out and you’ll find a nice spot with a landowner that doesn’t care as much about the legal issues and is just happy to help you out.

    In my humble opinion, you should stick to your tiny house.
    Because living a, as you wrote “a normal living situation” isn’t as easy as you might hope.
    You know, the grass is always greener on the other side, but when you move into a new apartment you have to put all your stuff into boxes, move the stuff over to the new apartment and then you will notice that you need more furniture so the place doesn’t look too empty. And oyu have to pay more rent, and insurances and pay for this and pay for that.

    So, stick to your tiny house 🙂

    Sincerely,
    Bastian

  • Linda March 22, 2013, 3:12 am

    I am sorry to hear you have been frustrated with certain things in life lately. When I have frustrating or bad days, I just remind myself (sometimes over and over again!) that if we didn’t have any bad days, we wouldn’t appreciate the good ones! And that fortunately the bad days come a lot less frequently that the good ones (at least that’s what we all hope).

  • Paul R March 22, 2013, 3:24 am

    When I’m anxious or feeling a bit depressed I revert to Mindfulness practice. Many people use it to slow down, but I find it puts me back on an even keel and gets me to appreciate what I have instead of focusing on what I have lost.

  • Delicia March 22, 2013, 3:48 am

    Change is always difficult and when the future is unsure, it’s even harder. Sometimes it’s good to remind oneself that when a door seems to be closing, it needs to close properly before a new one can open. That new door brings with it new opportunities. There is an element of trust in this, I know, and that’s not always easy. I try to remind myself of this when I am feeling frustrated by life. I hope that your weekend visit to Chico will show you some potential new doors to explore.

    It is also a time to take gentle care of yourself and each other as you go through the process of change. Do nice little things that you love to do and spoil yourself.

    Your article touched me so much, thank you for sharing it. I know that you will find the answers that work for you, just trust yourselves, life’s flow and be open to the new. These are things that I am sure you already do 🙂

    Thinking of you x

  • Lauren March 22, 2013, 7:40 am

    You are outrageously creative and action oriented, so I have full confidence that you’ll come to a resolution and I can’t wait to read about it!

    I noticed for myself – I’m at frenetic standstill. As a full-time working mom with young children (the sole provider right now) I am desperate to come up with the “right” creative solution that would allow me to be home and improve our family’s quality of life in the ways that matter. I am so afraid of ruining a ‘good thing’. I live in a large, beautiful house in the suburbs with a substantial mortgage. My kids are A students in high performing charter schools. We have all the social benefits of the city available to use (theatre, art centers, museums, gardens, zoo, etc.) which all cost money and while available I have little time or energy to enjoy them. You know, our modern version of success. However, it’s all seems so shallow and out of control like I’m the slave not the master of my life. I’ve had this nagging feeling I need to bring my family ‘home’. Part of what makes me ‘stuck’ is all the stuff in my house, the other part of why I am stuck is all of my ‘cultural’ stuff (the stuff in my head). But the intuitive nagging is LOUD now. I have to make a move and I have no idea what to do. So – “frenetic standstill”. I’m so frustrated.

    The way to move past frustration is to take action. However, before you take action you want to make the ‘right’ choice so you can take the ‘right’ action. Before you can make the right choices you may have to: have conversations with others, do research, analyze, meditate or write. I do all of the above. Often I write myself in circles though. Ack! Hence the standstill. Perhaps any action is sufficient.

    You are ahead of me. You have already made choices and taken action to simplify which means you are ‘lean and mean’ and have some freedoms I don’t have. I think you have to figure out what you guys want for this next phase of your life. Then worry about how to make it happen and whether or not a move would be required. Your options are limitless and your tiny house struggles make you pioneers. Maybe the zoning codes need adjusting. Maybe you buy land and rent out space to other tiny house dwellers. Maybe you buy a car. Maybe you take a break from your tiny house (it’s still a possession after all). Maybe you just need a vacation or spontaneous adventure to reboot. Maybe you focus on making local friends. Maybe your husband creates work he loves instead of ‘finding work’ and you stay where you are. Maybe you simply re-position the direction your tiny house faces. There are so many ways to put the freedom you’ve created to good use for yourself and your community. If you guys truly can’t decide just yet what comes next, perhaps you should just take any kind of action and then re-evaluate.

    As an aside, if you’ve been ill, even the flu and other ‘simple’ illnesses can leaving me feeling a little more despairing sometimes because i’m intuitive and things just don’t seem ‘right’ when I’m not feeling 100%.

    I’m truly excited for you guys and can’t wait to hear what’s next for you. Now, if only I could get past my own frenetic standstill…

  • Carrie Caverly March 22, 2013, 9:46 am

    Tammy!
    I so related to this post! I live in a tiny house too and it IS frustrating at times. I was just wishing there was a support group for tiny house dwellers where I could vent about the agony of not having a bathtub or having to deal with poop in weird, alternative ways that normal people would FREAK OUT about (if I told them, which I don’t!). haha.

    RE: change. Some of the best advice I’ve ever heard: don’t wait until the fear leaves, because you will never be completely without fear, just do it afraid.

    when I’m frustrated I: cry. get in my car and scream at the top of my lungs. go for a walk / run / bike ride. bitch at everyone around me. write a gratitude list of 10 things I’m thankful for. do a quick inventory: 10 things I like, 10 things I am afraid of, and 10 things I’m thankful for. write, write, write and write some more in my journal, stream of consciousness. chain smoke. say the Serenity Prayer and ask for courage. (some of these are more productive than others!)

    I loved Chico when I visited it – it’s going to be great! you’ll be able to bike everywhere, you’ll have community, and your husband will have a job. AND… because of your tiny house, you don’t have to drop $1,000 security deposit + $1,000 first months + $1,000 last months rent + $1,500-$2,000 to haul all your crap in a U-Haul! There are definite pros and cons to living small. Con: no baths. 🙁 Pro: Easiest and cheapest moving process ever! 🙂

    take care Tammy, love your blog and your honesty.
    – Carrie

  • Katie March 24, 2013, 4:30 pm

    Oh Tammy, you just have to read a few pages from your own brilliant book to remember why the positives so far outweigh the negatives with tiny house living and the beautiful lifestyle you have chosen to take on. The things you are worrying about are challenges, not obstacles, and with a little positive thinking and keeping your eyes peeled and ears open, all will come to fall into place for the next chapter of your amazing adventure. Keep inspiring us 🙂 Good luck! Hugs, Katie. XXX

  • Natalie March 25, 2013, 8:28 am

    Good luck in your search for a spot in Chico. Although you may feel out of sorts about your decisions now, they will pay off in the end, and you are following your heart with what you know if right for you and Logan. I love the quote on your picture. Your situation reminds me of another quote that helps me (I don’t know who said it). “Everything will work out in the end. If it hasn’t worked out yet, then it’s not the end.” When you find your perfect spot for your house in Chico, your worries will be but a distant memory outweighed by your happiness of being settled.

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